Zapatista Army of National
Liberation
To the workers of the National and International
Press:
Ladies and Gentlemen:
In the unlikely event that
some of you intend, or possess the obscure object of desire, to cover part of
the trip by the self-named “Delegate Zero” (me) through the 32 states of this
sorrowful country called Mexico, we are letting you know that, as far as we
(the EZLN) are concerned, no special accreditation will be asked for, nor will
any informative or disinformative (which do exist,
you know) media be barred.
I imagine that most of you
will be tethered to the boring election campaigns, already suffering from
trying to pull something coherent out of that three ring circus (the polls,
don’t think bad thoughts), and you would like to do “something else,” but the
relentless editors threaten you that the three nutters thing (poll takers, I
repeat) is more important than any “other campaign.” No matter, I understand you and accompany you
in your pain (?). But don’t let your
heart grow sad. You can always go to the
web page to learn about the “Other”. And
besides, our participation in the “Other” will be very “otherly” and, according
to what they tell me, it will be an unengaging passage throughout the Republic,
while the election campaigns will excite the passion and enthusiasm of the
respectable public (seemingly including those who don’t appear in any poll).
There’s more – so you can see
that I’m up to date, I’ll share a “tip” with you: its rumored that Sup-Zero’s trip (to the left
and, since it’s the Sup, below, of course) will serve to confirm that the
zapatones’ (and Zero’s – round, as Zeros should be) power to convene is at
rock-bottom, and they would be making a mistake in not joining in with plaudits
to the “favorite victim” (to differentiate it from “favorite villain”). According to trustworthy sources who have
asked that their names not be revealed (perhaps because they don’t exist), the
self-referenced Zero knows this, and he’s trying to divert himself with the
little regional
fancies which supposedly abound everywhere in the country. And more, with the neoliberal slogan “fat is
beautiful” and the very hick one of “bottled water, no, thick atole, yes,” he’s
trying to cut down the flourishing industry of “all included” anorexia.
Hmm. Yes, I know
that these “tips” aren’t good enough even for the food section, but we don’t
have the budget to pay for commercial announcements in the media (which isn’t
so bad, because no one would use us for promoting, for example, diet products).
Now, supposing you manage to
convince your bosses to give you even a small space in the inside pages (even
if it’s in the “many-X lingerie” section), we’re letting you know that, as
regards the press, we will observe the directives decided upon by the compas from the “Other” in each state.
We are recommending that they
not exclude anyone (besides, I don’t believe there will be much press), and
that they just ask you to respect the times and places that are put at your
disposal. Although we are quite aware of
all your good behavior, maturity and restraint, we believe all the “Other”
should confirm this.
Anyway, I’m letting you know
that I will be leaving on
On another issue, don’t think
we have ignored the requests for interviews which some of you have sent. What is happening is that it’s better for me
to let some time go by in order to reconsider, because it’s certainly not of
any interest to any polling firm now, and even less so once the “Christmas truce”
is over.
Vale. Salud
and, since it’s almost certain that I won’t be seeing anything more than your
signatures (if they’re used) in your articles, reports and photos about the
election polls, I’ll lie a bit to you: I
will miss you.
From the mountains of the
Mexican Southeast
The Alleged Sub Delegado Zero
(below and to the left) of the Sixth Committee of the
Zapatista Army of National
Liberation
SupMarcos, belching
self-confidently after knocking back a “Marcos’ Very Heavy Pozol Reloaded”
(note: the recipe is secret, but it packs a lot of “punch”)
Originally published in
Spanish by the Sixth Committee of the EZLN
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Translated by irlandesa